Being found not guilty does not always repair the damage caused by the accusation. At worst, the accusation can break the relationship between the suspect and his child once and for all.
A long-lasting child custody dispute and inflamed rifts can cause one parent to accuse the other parent of sexually abusing the child for no reason. When a man is unjustifiably suspected and accused of sexually abusing a child, it leaves a lasting mark on him.
It often takes months to find out the truth. When the authorities focus on the child’s interest and investigation work, the defendant’s ability to cope remains secondary.
In the study, the fathers say that the authorities did not provide enough information about the progress of the process and that they did not receive support to cope.
The guardian’s letter started a year-long investigation
One of the fathers interviewed by Saastamoinen is Olli. Olli’s name has been changed in the story because the matter also concerns his children, one of whom is a minor.
Yle has confirmed the decision made by the prosecutor, according to which the preliminary investigation did not reveal evidence of a crime or probable reasons to support the suspect’s guilt. Olli’s identity is known to Yle.
Olli and his ex-wife had been arguing about custody in court for a long time. Finally, Olli had his child for the weekend night. The children were then one and a half and four years old.
Two weeks later, on Friday, Olli received a letter from the childcare provider in his mailbox. The letter stated that he is suspected of sexually abusing his child.
– Of course I was quite upset. What the hell is this? There were terms in the letter that I didn’t quite understand. Of course, I didn’t catch anyone over the weekend. I didn’t get hold of my lawyer until Monday.
According to Olli, the cause of the suspicion was an ulcer found by the pediatrician in the child’s intimate area.
According to one of the fathers interviewed by Saastamoinen, the child’s mother told the authorities that she had found hair from the genital area next to the child’s bed. Another mother suspected abuse because, according to her, the man was particularly interested in bathing and changing the child’s diapers.
Three of the fathers interviewed in the study were accused in the middle of custody disputes. The foster home’s father was accused by the youth in the family home.
Accusations of abuse are not unusual in custody disputes, but there are no statistics on them. It is even more difficult to say how often accusations are made without foundation.
According to research, even professionals in the field find it difficult to recognize whether a parent’s suspicion is genuine or fake.
Investigating a suspicion usually takes a long time
When suspicions are raised, the authorities take them seriously. That’s when the big machine goes into motion to find out the truth.
As a result of worry, the parent may ask the child about what is happening at the other parent’s house. Conversations can be suggestive, and the parent can misinterpret what the child is saying.
Even if the suspicion is baseless, it often takes a long time to investigate it. Olli calculates that he has been to court sessions alone more than twenty times. It took a year to prove his innocence.
– Back then, there wasn’t much of a life of your own. It was the last thing on my mind when I went to sleep and the first thing when I woke up.
On average, the processing of cases that have progressed to prosecution, where the accused is accused of sexual abuse of a child or pregnancy, has taken about 4–6 months in recent years.
If the suspicion of abuse comes to light to the child supervisor or child protection, they file a criminal report. When the police receives a criminal report, it starts a preliminary investigation. After the investigations, the prosecutor assesses whether the matter will be dealt with in court.
In the interview below, forensic psychologist Marianne Mäenpää explains how children are interviewed when trying to find out what has happened.
The suspect may have to survive alone
From the experiences of the men interviewed by Saastomainen, a feeling of being alone shines through. All fathers believe that they would have benefited from the support offered by the authority.
– I felt that I am guilty until I prove otherwise. The burden was more on me, although according to the law you have to prove that something has happened, Olli states.
The accusation of sexual abuse or harassment of one’s own child is heavy. The men waited for the authorities to get in touch and intervene in the situation.
One father says that due to a custody dispute, he has been in contact with child protection, his child supervisor and the social worker for years without receiving support.
The accused did not always know what would happen next in the process. For some, it was unclear at first what they were accused of.
The purpose of the accusation may be to alienate the child from the parent
Because of the suspicions, Olli says he was only able to see his children a few times. In this way, the other parent had the opportunity to smear the father so that the children did not even want to see him.
Aija-Riitta Saastamoinen, who works as a special social worker in child protection, thinks that alienation, i.e. a parent’s desire to separate the children from the other parent, is behind the baseless accusations.
Alienation can be even more difficult to prevent if the other parent is suspected of sexual abuse.
Saastamoinen wonders if placement in outpatient care would be a viable way to ensure that neither parent could influence the child and thus manipulate him against the other parent.
Forensic psychologist Mäenpää says that from the point of view of a criminal case, investigations assess both the risk of influence and the risk of possible continuation of violence. In the placement situation, the child is not exposed to either and the investigation of the crime is secured. However, the child’s situation must be evaluated as a whole, because the criminal investigation is only a small part of the child’s whole situation.
– The divorce situation and the criminal process are great burden factors for the child and the family. It is a big question how placing a child away from both parents affects the child’s situation in the short and long term.
According to the law, a child cannot be placed only because of a police investigation. Investment is always made to protect the child and is only the last option.
Innocence does not set you free
Saastamoinen conducted his interview in 2017. At that time, the investigations and legal processes were behind some of the interviewees, while others were still waiting for the final result. The accusations still affect the men years from now.
Many fathers were separated from their children because of the events. The interviewees have had to experience inappropriate treatment, for example, from the child’s school or from strangers yelling on the street.
Olli says that after the preliminary investigation and the decision not to press charges, meetings with the children were supposed to start normally, but the children’s mother did not follow the agreements made. We should have gone to court again to fight the matter. However, the custody disputes and the year-long investigations had taken away his strength.
– No one helps in the end. If I contacted someone, it did not bring relief to the situation. Sometimes you just have to stop. Nobody can last forever.
Olli often thinks about his children. He hasn’t seen them in years. One of the children is already an adult.
– If they were walking down the street, I wouldn’t necessarily recognize them. I don’t have their phone numbers or any contact information. I hope that someday they would like to contact me.